How To Overcome Self-Doubt & Regain Your Joy

There comes a time when we should not look ourselves in the mirror but take a long look at our history of decisions. We must take a moment and reflect on our previous decisions and the decision-making process that either lead us to victory or failure. There will be some things we’d like to take back, like some words we’ve wished we never said or actions we did or did not take. While it’s a good idea to take account of our past mistakes, we absolutely should not let it dictate our future, nor how we interpret ourselves. It’s time to rise and shake off whatever past hurts, pains and regrets that we’ve been living with. We must not become a society full of regrets and worry, but instead become a community of hope.

There is life, love, and power in the words that we speak. Words can impact someone’s life for the better or worse. Words can uplift or derail. They can reveal a lot about someone’s character and their perception of others. The words we use to describe others are also being used to describe our own integrity. It’s not about portraying a fake personality and becoming just like everyone else, but instead choosing to be different by displaying a genuine interest in the betterment of someone other than yourself.

Over the years, I’ve learned to adjust my way of thinking and speaking not only about others, but about myself. There is something to be said about a person who not only believes in themselves but has the courage to speak out loud about their discipline, faith and commitment to living an extraordinary life. From the moment, we wake up in the morning our lives become a moment to moment decision making process. We all know that this world and the people in it are far from perfect, but it doesn’t do us any good to dwell on the negativity that we see, read or experience. Live hopeful and optimistic, choose to be joyful and shed that dreadful persona of doom and gloom that so many people have adopted as their own. I’m not claiming to know it all or state that I’m able to tell people how to live, but instead I’m simply sharing with those who are willing to listen, what helped me overcome my struggles with pain, regret and bitterness. Simply put, I chose to forgive, forget and move on.

Here are three things that I would encourage you to do if you are looking to acquire more meaningful relationships and overcome any self-doubt that you may have:

  • Forgiveness. – There is both power and peace in the decision to forgive others, yourself and to also receive forgiveness from others. It’s not about condemnation but about salvation and freedom. {John 3:16-17 NLT}…“For this is how God loved the world: He gave[a] his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life. 17. God sent his Son into the world not to judge the world, but to save the world through him.

When we make the decision not to judge neither ourselves or others based on poor circumstances or bad experiences we free ourselves from the devastation of guilt and a negative thought life. When we choose forgiveness, and choose to see the best in ourselves and others, we increase our ability to acquire and maintain healthy and meaningful relationships.  It’s a win-win!

  • Stop – Think – Then Speak. – When we take a moment to respond to a negative comment, gesture or situation, we give ourselves the best chance and opportunity to overcome our raw, negative thoughts and emotions. When we do this, we remain in control and not the other person or situation that’s causing friction and or conflict. The bottom line is this – don’t let others dictate your thoughts, feelings or actions. It’s tough, but I assure you that with the help of the Lord, it can be done.

{James 1:9 NLT} …” Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.”

I used to process people’s negative comments and meditate on them daily – and by harboring those negative thoughts and emotions it lead me to speak in a way that was harmful, both to myself and others. When we allow negativity to rule our thought life, it not only affects others but also how we view and think about ourselves. When the insults keep piling on and our days are filled with one bad experience after another, we must not act upon our negative thoughts and instincts, which could potentially lead us down a path of destruction. Instead – take your time and speak words of encouragement and wisdom into others and over your situations. Take control over bad circumstances with the use and power of your words and positive thinking. When you do this, it not only displays your character but also your ability to grow and overcome the adversities of life. Take a stand against negativity, and choose to speak life.

  • Encouragement. – Most of us enjoy words of affirmation and reassurance that everything is going to be all right, especially when we’re not feeling the most confident about our abilities.

{1 Thessalonians 5:11 NLT} …” So, encourage each other and build each other up, just as you are already doing.”

When we invest in others, we invest in ourselves. I can’t tell you enough about how awesome and exhilarating it can be when you see someone breakthrough their mental and physical barriers. When we speak words of encouragement, it truly effects our lives in more ways than one. Our confidence soars, our smile gets a little brighter and it begins to show itself to others as they take note of our new and profound positive outlook on life. The bottom line is that we all need encouragement from time to time no matter how well adjusted or equipped we are in our stage of life. It’s amazing how contagious encouragement can be, it’s like adding kindling to the fire and having to jump back quickly because all the embers and heat that the new wood disperses. So go ahead and speak – and let your words be the fuel to someone’s fire.

If you want to rid yourself of negativity, you must learn a new way of thinking and speaking about others and especially about yourself. It may not always be sunshine and rainbows, but at least we can ditch the doom and gloom mindset. Let’s continue to grow in our ability to uplift and encourage one another to do great and extraordinary things. Let’s be the love!

 

Jesus Gonzales – Marketing Consultant

How To Become a More Authentic & Effective Leader

Authentic leadership is vital in our pursuit of greatness. Leading with integrity is key because we can only lead when people are willing to trust us with their time, talents and resources. Authentic leadership is highly coveted because people matter. God designed us to be leaders in our communities, families and in the workplace. The gifts that he imparted to us are intended to be used for his plan and vision. When we lead knowing that ultimately it is all for the honor and glory of our Lord, then the burden becomes a privilege and leading others becomes a joy. When we humble ourselves as servants of the Lord, we know that God will not keep anything from us and that he will provide the right tools, people and resources that will help us reach our end goal. It is vital that we lead knowing that all people matter, and that means that their hopes, and dreams matter as well. It also means that their special gifts and talents matter. Authentic leadership places value on people’s dreams and is in agreement that they too should be able to accomplish their hearts desires. It also means that if all people matter, then we ought to listen and communicate with people on a deeper level and develop strong relationships. We do this, not for the sake of our own agendas, but because life is meant to be lived in community. Life is messy and we need all the help we can get. When we band together and trust in each other we can accomplish something great – we can go beyond our limits and reach new levels of success like never before.

Employees, athletes, students and even church members are becoming so confused as to what a true leader is and is not. It’s because leadership has taken all kinds of forms lately and the people who we thought were leaders turned out to be flakes and crumbled under pressure. It’s because of past experiences of poor leadership, we must do a better job at defining leadership by exemplifying authentic leadership. If we’re going to use the term “lead by example” then we have to follow that up by stating the most important thing about leadership, and that is – it’s not about us but about the people. It’s about the people that choose to join us in our mission and offer themselves up for the cause. When we lead with authenticity people will rally and willingly sacrifice their time, talents and resources to accomplish company goals. They’ll do this because they know that they can trust you and that we as leaders are selflessly sacrificing just the same. When we put others first it is evident and visible to all – when we put others first – it is love in action.

Here are some key characteristics and skills needed to obtain in order to deliver authentic and powerful leadership:

  • Humility
  • Knowledge
  • Wisdom
  • Discernment
  • Empathy
  • The Skill and Art of Precision Listening
  • Sales & Negotiation Skills That Demonstrate Experience and Swag
  • Effective Communication – Story Telling & Fearless Motivational Skills

I believe that with the acquisition and implementation of these attributes and skills, you’ll be able to lead and inspire your team to do great and wonderful things never imagined. You’ll also be able to demonstrate how they too can grow in leadership by following your lead and example. In the end – it’s not about rule and rein but about growth and reproduction. It’s about the development of your team’s character and how well they’ll respond to the challenge when they are asked to lead. What type of leaders are you shaping and what is the legacy they’re following? Are you ready to lead with authenticity and become a more efficient and effective leader of change? If so, I would encourage you to take your current skill set and adapt the forementioned attributes to fuse them together and experience growth and success.

So, I want to turn it over to you and ask you to share what are some of your thoughts on leadership? Who in your personal or professional life has shown exemplary leadership skills and has influenced you to pursue your dreams? How will you incorporate authentic leadership in your business?

For more insight on leadership and growing your business using the art of story telling and content marketing, visit gonzalesmedia.com.

Jesus Gonzales - Marketing Consultant
Jesus Gonzales – Marketing Consultant